(Written by a Japanese) Pairs: How to Use Japan’s Most Popular Dating App in Japan (2023)

Hello, again. This is BabyJ😊.

Are you looking to meet a Japanese partner for a serious relationship possibly leading to marriage in future?

If so, I highly recommend Pairs, one of the best dating apps in Japan for foreigners seeking meaningful connections.

Pairs is the most popular dating app in Japan, boasting 20 million members, the largest user base in the country.

However, the app’s interface is entirely in Japanese, so you’ll need some knowledge of the language to fully utilize its features.

In this article, I’ll guide you through how to use Pairs and share some key insights for dating in Japan.

I’m BabyJ, a Japanese blogger who writes about interracial romance and offers dating and relationship advice primarily for Japanese women. I draw from many years of interracial dating, including both marriage and divorce, to share my insights.

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Pairs

Pairs: Japan’s Most Popular Dating App

Pairs is Japan’s leading dating app, with over 20 million users nationwide. The app attracts members ranging from their 20s to 60s, with the core age group being in their 20s and 30s.

Unlike dating apps like Tinder and Bumble, which are often used for casual hookups, Pairs is designed for those seeking serious relationships and marriage.

This makes it a great platform to find someone who matches your preferences.

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Pairs

Pairs is Popular Among Foreigners in Japan

A few years ago, I conducted a survey in three Facebook groups for foreigners in Japan to find out which dating apps were the most popular.

Survey Result on Dating Apps

I asked, “What dating apps do you use to meet someone?” and received 82 responses. The results were as follows:

Total
1: Tinder 2: Bumble 3: Pairs 4: OkCupid
Female
1: Bumble 2: Tinder 3: Pairs 4: OkCupid
Male
1: Tinder 2: OkCupid 3: Pairs 4: Bumble

Tinder was the most popular, followed by Bumble. Surprisingly, Pairs, despite its entirely Japanese interface, ranked third. OkCupid came in fourth.

Foreigners’ Comments About Pairs

Here are some comments from foreigners in Japan about their experiences with Pairs.

Pairs is supposed to be a marriage partner finding app, but you’re probably going to find out Pairs is the actual Tinder… Short-term dating & one-night stands.

Foreigners in Tokyo

I use Pairs and it seems most people are Japanese. There were a few non Japanese people I found but all of them were very fluent in Japanese. So, Pairs seems recommendable for good Japanese speaker.

Foreigners in Tokyo

Also recommend Pairs more successful rate if you are Asian and speak Japanese because they don’t support English.

Tokyo Expat Network (TEN)

I like Pairs. It’s not LGBT friendly 😔 and is all in Japanese, but people tend to be more relationship oriented.

Tokyo Expat Network (TEN)

I met my husband on Pairs!

Tokyo Expat Network (TEN)

I’ve had the most success using Pairs, but the app has zero English support, so it’s unusable if you can’t read and write Japanese. It’s also paid (if you’re male) and the cost can rack up quite quickly.

Tokyo Expat Network (TEN)

Yeah, Pairs is mainstream among Japanese and in Japanese.

Tokyo Expat Network (TEN)

Media Coverage: Pairs as a Top App in Japan

Foreign media in Japan have also highlighted Pairs, noting its reputation for fostering serious and steady relationships.

Perhaps thanks to the wholesome and serious atmosphere of Pairs, it seems like many couples have been able to (get) steady relationships through matches from this app.

“A Beginner’s Guide to the Labyrinth o Dating Apps in Japan”, Izanau.com

References  
A Beginner’s Guide to the Labyrinth of Dating Apps in Japan

How to Join Pairs and Complete Identity Verification

Joining Pairs is straightforward, and there are four different ways to sign up.

However, you will need to complete identity verification, which is a requirement to start exchanging messages with your matches.

Four Ways to Join Pairs

You can join Pairs using one of 4 ways below:

1. LINE Account
2. Facebook Account
3. Email Address メールアドレス
4. Phone Number 電話番号

You’ll receive a PIN code to enter, completing the registration process, similar to other dating apps.

Identity Verification

Since Pairs is focused on serious relationships and marriage, they have implemented strict identity verification procedures.

Identity verification has two steps. And it is required to complete at least step 1 to start message exchange with your matches.

Identity Verification Step 1: Verification of Age

Step 1 requires that you to take a photo of your identification card in real time, following the app’s instructions..

Acceptable forms of ID for foreigners include:

1. Driver’s license
2. Passport

Approval is typically granted within 30 minutes, after which you can read and send messages without restriction. However, if you’re male, you’ll need to pay for membership.

Identity Verification Step 2: Verification of Identity

Step 2 involves taking a photo of both your ID card and your face in real-time, following on-screen instructions. You’ll be asked to make specific gestures, like raising a hand or opening your mouth.

This thorough verification process helps Pairs prevent scammers and catfish from using the app.

The process takes 30-60 minutes, and once approved, you’ll receive an “identity verified” badge displayed on your profile. You can also request a “vaccinated” badge.

How to Use Pairs to Meet Japanese: Profile

In this section, we’ll discuss how to set up your Pairs profile to make it more appealing, search for matches, exchange messages, and eventually meet up.

First of all, how you should prepare your profile to make it more appealing?

1. Add Some Japanese to Your Profile

You don’t need to prepare your profile in Japanese. It’s totally O.K. to write your profile entirely in English.

Japanese who seek foreigners for relationships are willing to communicate in English.

But I would recommend that you to add some a Japanese greeting on the profile, to make you appear more approachable to Japanese users.

2. Use “私の大切な価値観 (my important value)” to Show What You Seek

This section, “私の大切な価値観 (my important value)”, located under your profile photo, allows you to highlight what you are seeking in a partner.

私の大切な価値観 (my important value)

Select three topics, such as お酒 (alcohol), 身長 (height), 年齢 (age), 職業 (profession), 話せる言語 (language」etc. and write short sentences to convey your preferences.

Short sentences can be either in Japanese or in English.

3. Utilize the つぶやき (Tweet) Secti

Pairs includes a “つぶやき (tweet)” section where you can post short messages (up to 40 characters) three times a day to catch the attention of potential matches.

These tweets appear under your profile photo as in the image below.

つぶやき (tweet)

<Example tweets>

How to Use Pairs to Meet Japanese: Search

The following are some tips for searching.

Finding the Search Function

Access the search preferences by following these steps:

1. Tap the 「さがす (search) 」icon at the bottom.
2. Tap the search result display mode icon in the center at the top.
3. Tap the search preference setting icon at the bottom left.

Search by Location

You can search the people near you by setting the 「居住地 (place of residence) 」, and adjusting the distance using the scale labeled 現在地からkm (km from where you are).

「居住地 (place of residence) 」section

Alternatively, you can search by selecting specific prefectures without setting the distance scale.

If you would like to search by the prefectures, don’t set the above 「距離で検索 (search by distance)」section, but use 「居住地 (place of residence) 」section instead.

Select the prefectures on 「居住地 (place of residence) 」section. You can select multiple prefectures.

「居住地 (place of residence) 」section

Language

If you’re looking for someone who speaks English or another language, select the relevant languages in the 「話せる言語 (languages spoken)」 section.

You can choose multiple languages.

「居住地 (place of residence) 」section

Other Important Search Setting

It’s a waste of time to deal with the profiles of the people who don’t access to Pairs anymore or are not active now. They won’t notice even if you liked them.

To exclude such inactive people from the beginning, set the search preferences as follows.

Join Foreigners’ Communities

Pairs has various communities, including those for foreigners seeking Japanese partners and Japanese seeking foreign partners.

Joining these communities can increase your chances of meeting like-minded people.

コミュニティー(Communities)

【Some Foreigner Related Communities: Example】
There are 97 foreigner related communities as of February 25, 2023.

Check 足あと (Visitors to your profile)

Instead of relying solely on search functions, check the 足あと (visitors) section to see who has visited your profile.

These users might be interested in you.

足あと
(People who visited your profile)

How to Use Pairs to Meet Japanese: Matching

When you receive search results, that will be shown as image below. You won’t see full profiles immediately.

Tap on a photo to view more details, including the latest login time, match percentage, and the number of likes the person has received.

If you’re interested, tap the red hand icon to like them; otherwise, tap the grey arrow to skip.

How to Use Pairs to Meet Japanese: Message Exchange

Once matched, here’s how to make your conversation going.

Talk About Profile

You are matched with someone you are interested.

Instead of just sending “Hi” “Hello!,” it’s better to ask about information on his/her profile.

This shows genuine interest and encourages a response.

Frequency of Message Exchange

How often you should exchange messages with your matches?

Although it depends on the person and case, it’s a good idea to exchange messages daily to see if there’s chemistry. With several exchanges, you can come to know whether both of you feel chemistry or not.

However, don’t be discouraged if most conversations don’t progress beyond small talk. this is common.

I asked several foreigners how exchanges on dating apps went, they basically said the same thing as below.

I think only in 10% of matches, I could have a real conversation. Others tend to stay superficial and go nowhere.

Move to LINE

Once you feel comfortable, suggest moving to LINE.

However, it’s usually better to wait until you’ve had a few meaningful exchanges, as Japanese users prefer to exchange LINE with people they feel closer to.

Some guys suggest LINE exchange right after being matched. But your suggestion is most likely to be turned down. But it doesn’t mean that he or she has rejected you. It’s just too early.

You will have to wait until both parties feel comfortable before moving to LINE.

How to Use Pairs to Meet Japanese: Meeting up

Here are some tips you will need to know for meeting up with your match in person.

Bringing up the Idea of Meeting

You are exchanging messages with your match every day, but there is no talk of meeting up.

Neither of you say, “Let’s meet.” Or while saying “I would like to meet you,” he/she never scheduled an exact date and time.

If neither of you initiates a meetup, it may indicate a lack of genuine interest. Communication will fade out.

So don’t be surprised if only a few matches lead to an actual meetup. Sometimes none.

The road to meeting up has a long way to go.

Understanding Japanese Dating Culture

If you are a Westerner, you should start by dating casually, and then you decide whether or not to continue and enter into the relationship as exclusive couple.

But Japanese dating culture is different.

If you like each other and start dating, you are considered to be in a relationships and you are boyfriend/girlfriend already.

So, please know that, if your Japanese partner doesn’t know anything about the Western dating culture, he or she is most likely to consider that you two are in a relationship even if you think that you are not.

You may need to make sure of this in order to avoid any misunderstandings prematurely.

Pairs Membership

A woman can use Pairs for free. But you will need to complete the identity verification Step 1 to be able to read and send messages.

What a man can do is very limited unless you pay for membership.

Female Membership: the Verified and the Unverified

A woman can use Pairs for free.

But you can send only 1 message to the your matches unless you complete the identity verification Step 1.

So, we recommend you to complete Step 1 at least to read and send messages.

	Unverified	Verified
How many messages can you send?	1	unlimited
Can you see 足あと (people visited your profile)?	up to 5 people	unlimited
Can you see how many Likes a person gets? *Indicator of his/her popularity	✖️	○

Male Membership: Free Member and Paid Member

What a man can do is very limited, unless you pay to be a member. You can send only 1 message to your matches.

To fully use Pairs function, it’s necessary to pay and complete Identity Verification Step 1.

	Free	Paid
How many messages can you send?	1	unlimited
Can you see 足あと (people visited your profile)?	up to 5 people	unlimited
Can you see how many Likes a person gets? *Indicator of his/her popularity	✖️	○

Membership Fee for Men

Pairs offers plans for 1, 3, 6, and 12 months, with longer plans offering lower monthly rates.

Month	Total Amount	Amount per Month
1 Month	3,700 Yen	3,700 Yen
3 Months	9,900 Yen	(3,300 Yen/Month)
6 Months	13,800 Yen	(2,300 Yen/Month)
12 Months	19,800 Yen	(1,650 Yen/Month)

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Joining and Searching on Pairs is Free
Pairs

Meeting Japanese with Pairs

If you’re serious about finding a Japanese partner, Pairs is an excellent platform.

With millions of users across Japan, you have plenty of opportunities to meet genuine individuals in all ages and in all locations, who are interested in serious relationships.

By utilizing tips introduced here, you’ll be better equipped to navigate Pairs and increase your chances of finding a meaningful connection.

Check to see the people you can meet by join and search now.

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Joining and Searching on Pairs is Free
Pairs

Best Dating Apps to Meet Japanese

(Written by a Japanese) Best Dating Apps in Japan for Foreigners (2023)Three best dating apps in Japan for foreigners to meet Japanese for serious relationships leading to marriage, not for hookups and just for fun....

	Pairs The most popular dating app in Japan, with 20 million users across the country. Designed for serious relationships and marriage, you can find potential partners in various areas and age groups. The interface is only available in Japanese.
	Match.com The Japanese version of the world-famous dating app originating from the U.S. It offers more chances to meet mature, intelligent Japanese individuals who can speak English and are globally minded. The interface is in English.
	JapanCupid This app specializes in dating between Japanese and foreigners, designed for serious relationships. It provides more opportunities to meet Japanese people who are open to living abroad. The interface is available in both English and Japanese and includes a translation function.